An In Depth Look at Clana

It’s a pretty well known fact to my youtube subscribers that I am not a fan of Lana, no matter what means of media it may be. Now with that being said, I wanted to take an in depth and even philosophical look at the relationship that is Clana. There is no hate in this blog. It's all just facts and analysis. But if you're a Clana shipper, I suspect you already hate me and no amount of reason could change that. So here we go...

The first time we see Lana Lang, Clark is walking into school and she pops up and he stumbles because she has on her kryptonite necklace. This is one of his first big obstacles in the quest to gain Lana’s affections. Now Lana wears this necklace for a few reasons. She told her boyfriend Whitney that, “So much bad luck came out of it; there can only be good luck left.” The necklace was given to her by her aunt “to remind herself of how much was lost that day.” I always found it creepy that Lana would wear a piece of kryptonite that killed her parents. Who even thought of that when they were collecting debris? You’d think her mom had an actual heirloom that Lana could have worn, but hey! What can you do?

It’s clear that Clark already likes Lana a lot and later in the episode, he is spying on her. He doesn’t really get to have his first real conversation with Lana until after she gives her boyfriend her necklace for good luck and Clark just so happens to meet her in the cemetery.

From then on, Clana was born. I was a supporter of the couple as well. Who doesn’t want the hero to get the girl or for the outcast to get the cheerleader? Who wasn’t upset when Clark didn’t take the credit for saving Lana from bug boy or who selfishly was like “Oh crap! Whitney’s dad died so now Lana has pity!”? It was an endearing story of boy meets girl, who was literally the girl next door, who was also the girl of his dreams.

As time passes by, Lana is painted as a stronger and more intelligent character by the writers as the audience gets to know her better. Lex challenges here business savvy and she ends up with a coffee shop. Lex teaches her some self-defense and then she’s a kick-butt warrior. When she gets hurt and needs physical therapy, Adam Knight challenges her to suck it up and push through her pain to become strong.

Though it was clear that Clark and Lana liked each other, there were still obstacles in their way. One huge obstacle is of course Clark’s secret. When Clark commissions Lana to help with a paranoid Lex and ends up getting stomped on by her horse, she tells Clark that she thinks it would be better for her to stay away from him (which really sparked my dislike of her character). They mend their relationship, but they can never truly be together as long as Clark keeps his alien nature a secret.



In Reckoning, Clark decides to tell Lana everything and he proposes to her. Through a series of events, she dies and Clark begs for Jor-El for a do-over. Despite all reasoning from Jor-El, Clark wants to take the risk and play God in order to save Lana’s life. The day resets and Lana ends up breaking up with Clark because she can tell Clark is hiding things from her and it starts a domino effect of Lana eventually falling into Lex’s arms. But the most damaging thing to come out of this event was the death of Clark’s father, Jonathan. That burden will always weigh on Clark’s shoulders.

By this time, Lana had already began changing into a darker character. She killed some people, committed a few crimes, blackmailed some people, and so on. Then when she became Mrs. Luther, she fit in very well. After finding out that Lex tricked her into the marriage with a fake pregnancy, she got out of the marriage by faking her death.

When she returned in season 7, she was darker than ever. She tried to set up Lex for her murder, had Lionel kidnapped and tortured, started a foundation to spy on Lex, tried to kill Lex, and she hurt Lois and Clark along the way. At the end of “Power” Clark came to a realization that Lana wasn’t the same. Lana told Clark that he had painted an image of her and instead of Clark realizing that he had made a mistake somewhere in the beginning of their relationship, he thought that she had changed and that it was his fault.

Their relationship really hit rocky waters when Clark was replaced with Bizarro and Lana was much happier with Clark not really being Clark. But their relationship didn’t end until Brainiac attacked Lana and placed her in a catatonic state. When she woke up, she made a video for Clark. She had made a completely unselfish decision to let Clark go for the sake of the world. She had been coming to the conclusion that she perhaps wasn’t good enough for Clark, couldn’t meet his standards, and was holding him back from his true destiny.

Then in season 8, it was revealed that leaving Clark was not her noble decision, but rather something forced by Lex. Lana escaped her captors and ended up training and plotting to take Lex’s super suit so she could be on an equal playing field with Clark. It seemed like the perfect end to their relationship. They could both save lives together (though Lana proved kind of useless by not being able to find a gigantic bomb on the Daily Planet roof after looking “all over”).



Then the couple learned the most important lesson they would probably ever learn: you don’t screw with Lex Luthor. Lana has virtually no choice but to absorb a kryptonite bomb, thus making it impossible for Clark to be with her. After a tearful goodbye, they were officially through.

Now I’m getting to the point of my little history lesson. When we first saw Clana, Clark couldn’t be with her because of that piece of kryptonite around her neck. In a very poetic set of events, they had to break up for good because she became a giant piece of kryptonite. Their relationship was really toxic. Though the necklace was sentimental and beautiful and harmless to most everyone, it was potentially fatal to Clark. Now Lana is literally the same thing. I don’t think it’s possible that the writers could have predicted Lana’s departure in such a way since the beginning to make a foreshadowing with her necklace, but the literally merit behind how it all played out is quite impressive.

To understand the true nature behind Clana, I highly recommend reading The Great Gatsby. To make a long story short, Gatsby is a kid who was poor who loved a girl named Daisy. He did whatever he could to gain fortune to feel worthy of her and ended up having grand parties every night with a bunch of strangers who never even met him. The two eventually reunited, but when Daisy needed a scapegoat out of a messy situation, Gatsby was the one who got sacrificed. He couldn’t see that the Daisy he loved was only a dream and reality didn’t smell so sweet. He couldn’t see beyond his image of her. In the end, Gatsby only had three people come to his funeral, and Daisy isn’t one of them.

That’s how I feel about Clark. Lana didn’t date Lex and have something snap inside of her. She was on a long destructive road prior to ever being with him. On so many occasions, he was willing to overlook just about anything. Even though they had rough patches, Lana had to become a physical fatality rather than it being a clean break. He still didn’t want to let her go. He wanted her to stay in his vision so he could at least see her. It would have hindered them both from ever being happy, but he didn't want to let go of that dream.

I also feel in some ways that Clark was bad for Lana. Despite Lana eventually becoming indestructible at the end of her Smallville career, she was sort of always a weak character. She was always holding onto the past, hence her necklace. Even when she turned to drugs to see an image of her parents in the Afterlife, it was all blamed on her break up with Clark. It took her forever to break up with Whitney, even though she knew her genuine feelings. She was going to lose her virginity to Jason to please him, even though he hadn’t pressured her. Even though Lex and Lana fit so well together, she really did play right into his hands.

There were times when Lana has showed strength and great character, so some might be at this point and think I’m being unfair with my assessment of Lana. But my biggest contributing factor is the fact that she got super powers. Yeah, I can understand missing ultimate power after having it, but it was more than that. Lana was already feeling less than worthy in season 7 and she expected that she and Clark could finally be together after gaining super powers. For some reason, she felt like she needed to change to be with Clark. Instead of rising to the occasion internally, she had to do it physically.

One reason why I prefer Lois over Lana is because I can see the maturity that Clark and Lois has had due to being with each other. Lana and Clark always involved one or the other-or maybe both-being held back. Lois can be herself and help Clark be who he needs to be. Lana didn’t feel she was good enough. Clark would have taken her in any way, shape, or form, but it wouldn’t have put him on the correct path.



Clana was a fun ride at first for me and it was enjoyable for others until the end. There are still a lot of fans that will shout “Clana Forever!” for years long beyond Smallville’s reign. But keep in mind that there’s always a reason why Clark and Lana never last and were never meant to be, inside and outside of comics.

In Defense of Clois

I don’t mind being called a “shipper” but I wouldn’t refer to myself as one, at least not for Clark and Lois from Smallville. Don’t get me wrong, I love them together. Their chemistry is AMAZING and some of my favorite work from Tom Welling comes from his scenes with Erica. The only reason why I don’t refer to myself as a flat out shipper is because I haven’t dipped into fanfiction and fanart and music videos.

But since I do have a certain fantastically amazing Clois thing prepared for all of my youtube subscribers, I will retract that statement and suck it up: I am a shipper. BUT, I’m not one of the scary ones.

Now that’s settled, let me begin...

There has been some arguments as of late about Smallville and the direction of it. Some comic book loyalists (which I am one) are saying that it’s wrong how much Lois is impacting Clark on his journey to becoming Superman. Some are upset that Clark is prepping to pop the question, which means a potential engagement which leads to inevitable marriage–on or off screen. No one is refuting that Lois is his true love (except for those from the Clana Forever tribe). They just want to see Lois and Clark after he’s Superman.

I totally get that. I completely understand. But–and this is a huge “BUT”–Smallville is well known for taking the comic books, tearing them up, and pasting them back together blindfolded and with silly string. Lois with Aquaman and a deep relationship with Oliver? Kara in Smallville before Superman can even fly? Lois and Clark working at the Daily Planet before Perry White? So many things in this show is dead wrong compared to the comic books! I won’t even bother complaining about the poor misrepresentations of Superman’s villains! Pay a visit to comicbookmovie.com and go to a Smallville article. You probably won’t find one without many “Smallville Sucks” comments.

For any Smallville/comic book fan to enjoy both, there has to be an understanding that Smallville is a different story from a different kind of universe. Jeez, if there’s another “Crisis” it might be Earth-207.5. Yeah, I do get aggravated when Smallville screws something up when it results in something totally useless and idiotic, but they do have a right to change things. Heck! DC Comics changed a bunch of crap. Golden Age, Silver Age...They revamp storylines all the time! So for comic book fans who have managed to survive 9 seasons of inaccurate change, I ask “Why can’t you handle it now?”

Lois is a huge part of Superman’s life. Anyone who reads Superman comics cannot reasonably argue that fact. It’s perfectly reasonable that she would also be a big influence in Smallville. Now as far as being upset that she influences him into becoming “Superman”, take into account that people have been influencing him into this role from the beginning. Of course Ma and Pa Kent helping is comic book consistent and Lana to a point. BUT Chloe is an original character and pretty much runs the unnamed Justice League. It’s not fair to hate on Lois, especially when her real impact on Clark’s life is so monumental.

It might be annoying to comic book fans that he’ll probably end up popping the question before flying, but lets remember that in 1938 when Action Comics #1 debuted, Superman could not fly, but there was Lois Lane.



The other argument is a general one and isn’t necessarily made by comic book fans, but rather just people who watch the show to see Clark fight somebody and use his special effects. I know these people. My dad watches Smallville and stated that he specifically watched the show for those reasons. I’m not sure why. There have been so many times when he’s sat down excited and then when the show came off, he was let down by Smallville’s famed anti-climactic fight scenes. Smallville does deliver on occasion, but I never felt a fight for Clark (because the non-powered girls always had better fight scenes) delivered until the season 9 finale. And in retrospect, his fight with Zod wasn’t that long, but it was more than two punches. My dad was happy though. When Clark punched Zod after throwing Lois, he yelled out “Pow!” on impact. It was like he was a kid.

But anyway, all the love stuff is starting to get on people’s nerves now. It’s season 10! It’s supposed to be the final season! They’ve got to deliver! The only problem with that theory though...is that it’s always been a show with a lot of romance. Way back at the beginning when I was still Team Clana (creepy, I know!) I was rooting for Clark to be there when Lana woke up from that bug cocoon or for Lana to stop taking pity on Whitney and dump him for Clark! I didn’t realize how hot Ian Somerhalder was at the time! Lana was supposed to be with Clark, not that weird Adam guy! Now somewhere between the vampires, drugs, witches, and taking Lex’s clothes off to sleep with him, blackmailing his workers, and the killings...I lost my love for Lana and she became an eternal sting in my eyes. Still, Clark didn’t stop loving her. Even when she liked Bizzaro Clark more, he still loved her. Fake pregnancy, Mrs. Luthor, shady organizations, nearly killing Lex, or lying to her friends never made him stop. Even when she was pumped full of kryptonite, she was the one to walk away!

He was so doe-eyed in love with her that he was mopey and kind of overly pathetic. Eight seasons of that. EIGHT! Now people want to whine about Lois, when they really only have a few scenes per episode. Sure, they are very romantic squeal worthy scenes, but they do not take up full episodes. At least Lois and Clark developed a friendship that grew into love. Clark barely knew Lana in the beginning and he was in love with her from jump! Even Lana acknowledge in “Power” that Clark had painted an image of her. Then he still couldn’t realize that he had falsely idolized her and blamed her dark side on himself!

Some people think it’s too soon for Clark and Lois to get engaged. I don’t understand that thinking. They’ve known each other since season 4. They’ve been friends, lived together, seen each other naked, been falsely in love, she’s done a strip tease, they had an undeniable connection that Maxima pointed out, and Lois admitted that she loved him in “Committed”. And who else ever made Clark smile like that after a kiss when he posed as Green Arrow? They really had a thing in season 8. They were pretty strong in season 9. When you know, you know. What is Clark supposed to do? Shack up for 5 years?



Here’s the truth: Lois and Clark truly have matured one another. Lois has purpose and fulfillment and though she’ll always be blunt and stubborn, she can be tamed. But the crazy thing about it is, that shy boy who was Lana Lang’s little puppy dog just grabbed Lois when he wanted a kiss. Lois was told to shut up when he wanted to dance. He called her out for not sticking up to her father! Clark is so much more man now! Be happy for that.



The final argument is that Lois Lane in general is in too many episodes, and I just have to disagree. Erica Durance is the best Lois to date. She’s been on Smallville since season 4 and her fans have fought for her to be in the full season. They finally got it. And since there’s only 4 regular cast members, I don’t see why Lois on the show so much is a problem, especially with Oliver being so mopey! Sure, they might not always utilize Lois to the fullest potential when they write an episode, but that can be said about any character–including Clark. I thought “Isis” was useless for the most part, I really did. However, that part at the end was gold. Lois is a reporter working in a world where crime happens everyday and she dates a super hero. Yes, there should be plenty or sensible stories for her to fill out a season. Will they always write her in well? They don’t always write in Clark well!

And they did stories focused on Lana, Chloe, Pete, Tess, Oliver, Kara...I just don’t see how Lois centric episodes could be uncalled for after they’ve been so gracious to other characters. Yeah, it’s a show about Clark, but there’s a supporting cast and their lives effect his. If anyone thinks Smallville should only be about Clark, then let’s lock Tom all alone in the barn, let the camera’s role, and see if that episode is worth our attention. Clark can’t do it alone. He doesn’t in the comic books. He doesn’t on Smallville.

But in conclusion, I’d like to point out that no matter how much Lois loved Superman, she always said yes to “Clark Kent.”



I hope my wealth of knowledge and reason eased someone’s mind. If not, at least I finished my rant.

Tootles!

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Ultimate Sexiest Beast Edward Cullen vs Damon Salvatore

So EW is less than three days away from crowning their “Ultimate Sexiest Beast”. Their two final contenders: Edward Cullen (Robert Pattison) from Twilight and Damon Salvatore (Ian Somerhalder) from The Vampire Diaries (which was written first!). While they both have their charms, as I write this they are at 50/50. I find it a little nerve racking because I am rooting one over the other. But for the sake of sounding unbiased, here’s some tid bits on the both of the candidates.



Team Edward: Edward is sweet, kind, charming, and a true gentlemen. Color me old fashion, but I love the fact that Edward wants to wait to have sex with Bella until they’re married. No he doesn’t wear leather and he does seem to be quite ridden with angst if he’s not lying in the flower fields stroking Bella’s face, but he has an undying loyalty for the woman he loves and is truly in love with her and is man enough to put her needs above his own. If Bella loved Jacob, he would want her to be happy with him. That’s just wonderful. He completely won me over in Eclipse and I don’t like how his conservatism makes him a target. You can be conservative and sexy. Plus, he’s very mysterious.

Cons: Sparkling is so not sexy. If someone wants to refer to The Cullen family as beautiful, that would be completely acceptable. Sure Edward does have some sex appeal, but the only thing “beastly” about him is that he’s a vampire. I don’t mean to knock Stephanie Meyer’s vampire mythology. She can write whatever she wants about vampires. However, it’s just not sexy.



Team Damon: Damon Salvatore is probably the greatest thing about The Vampire Diaries. It’s really bad when you root for the bad boy to get with the good girl, but I find it hard to stop myself from rooting for Damon. I would have never guessed that Ian Somerhalder would have pulled off such a fantastic job. He’s devilish, charming, sexy, sarcastic, has smoldering good looks, a great body, and he’s a real vampire. He’s a bad boy, but he’s smart and everything he’s ever done has been for the love of his life. He’s twisted, but he’s sweet in his own sick way. There are lots of other great characters on The Vampire Diaries so to say that Damon carries the show would be unfair, but it’s obvious that it would be seriously lacking.

Cons: I can’t think of one that would take away his sexiness. As far as his personality, he’s not the guy you wanna bring home to mom and dad...or invite in the house period.

Sexy Beast: Being “sexy” or attractive period doesn’t always have to do with looks. People obviously can have sexy bodies, smiles, smirks, glares, voices, or eyes, but that’s not always the determining factor. Personalities have a lot to do with it and how you carry yourself. If you’re sexy, you’ve got to be confident in that fact. But “beast” is the thing that makes the choice a little more clearer for me. Being vampires makes them both qualified for that term, but if you’re a “beast” there’s got to be some ferociousness to you and some toughness. It’s not about strength. It’s about that inner monster.

My Choice: Absolutely 100% Damon. Ian’s really got something with that character. I never thought much of Ian on Lost as Boone as far as looks and the character of Damon is a complete turn around. Plus, his body is A LOT better than Rob’s.

I’m pulling for Damon to win. I’ve already voted. I hope he wins, because I think if Edward won it would just be because of his fans that aren’t truly considering the criteria. By definition, I think Damon should take this victory.

ABC's "The Gates" Review

So it’s the summer time, which means I’m over the angst I felt when all my shows left me with a cliff hanger, but there’s still a void because I’m not watching them. The only saving grace is a few summer shows like “Hell’s Kitchen” and “So You Think You Can Dance”. But since I’m a geek and needed something else to watch, I decided that I would give ABC’S “The Gates” a try.

It’s basically a show about monsters that live in a gated community because they want to be safe from normal people because they want to live normally. At first I thought it was vampires, then I pleasantly saw that there were werewolves/shape shifters and then it turned out that there were other creepy neighbors like witches and succubuses, which never really gets done. So the show is an interesting twist on monster mythology.

The non-monsters that we’re supposed to care if they get eaten is a family moved to The Gates because the dad, Nick Monohan, is a cop who had shot a criminal who he supposedly thought was armed. He’s the new Chief of Police for The Gates and is pretty tough on crime. For that reason, when a neighbor goes missing and is mauled in a so called “animal attack” he’s on the case, to the annoyance of the residents.

The second most important character from the family is the son, Charlie, who likes a girl at school who has a boyfriend, a very deadly boyfriend. A love triangle ensues.

I wasn’t too thrilled with it while watching the first few episodes. It was something I barely decided to DVR. I would play it on Hulu while I was working on something on my computer. I’m not too attached to any of the characters and wouldn’t be sad if any one of them disappeared. I’m just not invested into them yet. There’s a line of morality missing for me. And though Charlie isn’t knocking over in liquor stores or anything like that, I just don’t think it’s cool to engage in cheating. And then all the monsters eat people and I don’t find any of them really charming, with the exception of vampire Dylan Radcliff.

Then the fourth episode comes on and it’s typical blah, blah, blah and then at the last five minutes of the episode makes me go “I can’t believe that just happened!” I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it. For those who know what I’m talking about, it certainly was reckless and unexpected. However, it proved to me that this show isn’t going to play it safe and that there’s more than what I thought to it. If a show can make me gasp, they’ve got something.

I’m officially a fan. I’m not devoted or addicted, but I’m eggar to see what comes next. I recommend it. While it has somewhat of a slow start to me, it gets better and I think it’s gonna be really good!

Is The Last Airbender worse than Dragonball Evolution? That’s a good question, and one that has been actually raised due to the epic fail that The Last Airbender turned out to be. DBE is pathetically rated at 18% on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s pretty terrible. But The Last Airbender even managed to do worse with 8%.

But not everyone agrees with critics and Avatar probably has a younger fan base, which might be harder to please and might not grasp important things like direction or cinematography. So is it really as bad as DBE?

First off, I’m gonna start by saying that I’m one of Dragonball Z’s biggest fans ever. I was into fanfiction, had my computer filled with fanart, and watched it every time it was on tv. I even watched it when it showed throughout the week on Toonami and then on Saturday when they showed every episode that they just played during the week. I was into it!

When I heard some of the changes being done to the movie, I was appalled. First of all, if it’s “Dragonball” and not “Dragonball Z” then it should have been about kid Goku, not high school Goku (especially since he’s as dumb as a rock except when it comes to fighting). Bulma didn’t have blue hair, Master Roshi wasn’t really old, and Chi-Chi wasn’t really herself at all. So the more I heard, the angrier I got.

Then it occurred to me that DBZ is a crazy show. There’s no way that terrifying monsters that turn people into food or talking animals that can drive and pay mortgages on their houses would translate well into film. There’s just too much crazy stuff to make it completely accurate. So while I don’t understand why Bulma couldn’t have a blue wig, I decided to reserve judgement and go see the film for myself.

I was disappointed with the film, but I sort of liked it. It’s not a strong “like”. It’s a “shrug my shoulders, I didn’t want to kill myself and I might actually watch this again if I’m bored” sort of like. It was a bad film though.

Since DB/DBZ/DBGT was over, there was a hole in my heart. Presently, I’m lacking in really good animes. Death Note and Full Metal Alchemist was awesome, but nothing quite felt like DBZ to me. A good show that filled that gap was easily Avatar: The Last Airbender.

I was ecstatic when I heard they were doing a live action film for that show. My younger sister Tina put it in the calender in her phone so the alarm would go off the announced date of the movie. I was still pumped when I heard M. Night Shyamalan was doing it, because I like his movies. When I saw The Happening, I became very leery of him and began to lose faith.

Then I heard a bunch of crazy changes and I got angry, just like I did with DBE. When I heard some of the casting, I was upset. I’m not one of those “they should be Asian!” screamers, but I at least want the actors to look like the characters. Heck! Zuko’s scar is barely visible. It looks like he got smacked in the face, not burned. I remember staring at my computer screen and chatting with my friend on facebook saying “Why aren’t Sokka’s and Katara’s coats blue?” I was really upset!

Then I saw some trailers and I began to get excited for the film again. After all, it’s an easy film to make. The source material is awesome. It’s difficult to decide what to take out and what to keep, but the story is fantastic. The characters have such great chemistry with each other. The humor is amazing. And even though it’s a kid’s cartoon, the show has such serious content that it’s easily expanded it’s demographic.

So I saw the film opening day with an open mind. When I heard the first name mispronunciation, I think I twitched, but I told myself to go on. Then it happened again, and again and I forced myself to ignore it. But then there were so many other mistakes that just didn’t make sense for the sake of the plot. I tried to get over that too, but then the acting was bad and the characters were butchered. How can Asian Americans forgive the act of “race bending” when everyone was so bad? No one can believe the lie of “the best person got the job”. Crap!

So I left the theater angry. My youngest sister exploded as soon as the credits started rolling.

But the question still remains of which movie is better.

I have to sadly say that DBE is the better film. The reason is this, and this alone: The Last Airbender failed miserably on characterization. I can understand changing stories. I can understand taking out scenes or adding scenes or the director making his own race his favorite nation. I can’t understand, but I can forgive the name changes. What I can’t forgive is that the total lack of character. Aang–the fun, loving, goof ball might as well have put on black clothes and makeup because he was Emo. But he wasn’t a “dress Emo because I think it’s cool and it’s how I am” Emo. He was slitting his wrists material. All he needed was some sarcastic and demented remarks. Sokka–the joker–was completely humorless and didn’t have much of a part. Even his tragic love scene barely survived the editing room. Katara wasn’t motherly. Zhao was a punk, instead of the formidable, angry, and arrogant foe. The Fire Lord didn’t even seem like that bad of a guy!

Dragonball Evolution might have been rushed, the fighting might not have been up to par with the show, and the story might have been over all stupid, and fans might have had a lot of “what the heck!” moments, but AT LEAST the spirit of the characters were there. At least they had little moments to appease some people. Goku tried to gel his hair and his spikes wouldn’t allow it. Goku ate a giant piece of chicken and I could go “Oh! That’s Goku!” At least the guy playing Yamcha did his best and actually sounded like him.

I wish Sokka would have said a joke. I wish they would have ruined a cabbage man’s cart. I wish Aang would have hinted that he liked Katara. I wish. I wish. I wish!

But it didn’t happen.

DBE changed WAY more than TLAB, but the problem was that M. Night tried to fix something that wasn’t broken. As a matter of fact, it was perfect. I literally thought there was no way he could ruin this film. A DBZ movie should only be made if you want to see cool fighting. Some of the character’s stories are great (Prince Vegeta), but the show itself is nowhere as good as Avatar.

Sure Airbender had good special effects, but M. Night missed the mark. He must not have realized that he was making a movie based off of a beloved children’s cartoon. He somehow took all the fun out of the story and the characters while also making it cheesier. Congratulations for that, because that seems very hard to me to pull off. It couldn’t have been an accident. That must have taken a lot of effort!

The Last Airbender’s story was better, but that’s a reflection of the cartoon and had nothing to do with M. Night. This was probably his worst directed film. The acting was terrible, the shots were weird sometimes, and there was no character development. The special effects were very cool, but it took too long to bend anything.

I really would like them both to reboot. I’d take the chance, because I did love the shows.

Eclipse OWNS The Last Airbender

After seeing both Twilight Saga: Eclipse and The Last Airbender on the day of their openings, I’ve got to say that I really, really enjoyed one over the other and I’m surprised which one it was.

I’m not a big fan of Twilight. I don’t dislike it, but I’m not much of a chick who likes romance flicks unless they’re really funny. I can watch them, but I don’t have much of a desire for it. The first Twilight was rushed while New Moon felt long in some parts. I wasn’t sure how Eclipse was gonna play out, even though the previews were pretty sweet. The truth was that I really enjoyed the film. It wasn’t my favorite film of the year, but so far it’s my favorite of the summer. There was more action, the pace was good, and it was really humorous. Though I don’t really buy Taylor Lautner’s angry face all the time, I really enjoy his chemistry with Robert Pattison and their rivalry for Bella’s affection. I liked that more of the characters lives were explained and it went outside of the love triangle by explaining Rosalie’s and Jasper’s past, which is something the first Twilight film failed at big time.

To some people, saying that Eclipse was the best Twilight film isn’t enough, because they don’t care or like the first two. I’m gonna go out on a limb and admit that I liked it. I recommend not seeing it with a theater filled with little kids but an actual young adult crowd and feed off of the energy they invoke. I had a really nice movie experience.

I thought The Last Airbender was going to be the best movie of the year, when in reality it was probably the biggest disappointment in my movie watching career. Ever. It was a movie that was basically easy to make. The story is so solid that you really don’t have to adopt it, just make it real life. The source material is great. It’s not like Dragonball Z when there’s so much crazy stuff like talking animals and villains that turn people into food and eats them. Avatar was a great and sensible cartoon. I can’t believe how badly it was messed up.

Since I’ve made a video for a Twilight review and will do one on Last Airbender, I won’t go too in depth right now as far as what was wrong in comparison with the cartoon and film, but I will say it was really rushed, some of the shots didn’t compliment the scene sometimes, the pronunciations of the names were ridiculous, and the actors did terrible jobs. They weren’t the characters. Most of them had no real personalities because there was no character developments.

I thought Last Airbender would be able to draw children and happy parents, but the film changed some things about the story that actually made it cheesier. I strongly think only small, as in very young fans of the show will like the movie. Just about anyone older than ten will probably be able to spot the changes and see how it damaged the plot.

I also thought Eclipse might have been a bit darker for a younger audience, but it really wasn’t dark at all, so Eclipse easily translates to a much larger audience.

Eclipse ended up opening up just a little shy of New Moon’s opening gross, but it’s still the second highest opening day grosses ever. Last Airbender is being trashed by fans and critics a lot, so while it might stand to do well, it’ll barely be what Paramount expected.

The moral of the story? Twilight wins. It was more hype than an actual fight.

Twilight Saga: Eclipse VS The Last Airbender

Tomorrow marks another day in tween history: the release of another Twilight film. The Twilight films are based off of the world wide best selling novels by Stephanie Meyer whose success story was rocket fast in the world of publishing. When the films came to be movies, they launched an obsession for tweens, despite Twilight being classified as young adult fiction.

Twilight was only rated so-so if not down right hated in the eyes of many fans, but many of them considered the sequel New Moon to have delivered. With the introduction to the Bella/Edward/and often shirtless Jacob triangle as well as some additional fight scenes that were not in the books (but really helped the film), it was actually a good movie (if you didn’t mind Bella screaming and crying in her sleep for half of the film). New Moon actually debuted with the number one opening day gross ever with over seventy-two million dollars surpassing the Harry Potters, Spiderman 3, Transformers 2, and even the beloved Dark Knight.

But New Moon is easily the favorite book from the Twilight series, so can Eclipse outperform it’s predecessor?

My money is on “probably”. It’s main promotion is for it’s vampire and werewolf war drawing in people who may not care about romance and may not know it’s a romance, but they like seeing things fighting and killing each other. Also, young Jacob actually gets up the nerve to fight for young Bella’s affection instead of staring at her intensely and waiting for her to lean in and kiss him. Edward doesn’t disappear for half the film either so it’s a full on fight for Bella’s love.

If I were a film maker, I wouldn’t put up anything against the power of little girls who beg their mommies to take them to the theaters so they can stare at men too old for them and cry over situations they’re too young to understand. But M. Night Shyamalan has proved to take risks creatively with some of his work. It’s no shocker that he’s taking a risk and putting The Last Airbender on the line against a major contender.

The Last Airbender–known to many as “The REAL Avatar” (sorry Cameron), are looking forward to this highly anticipated film. The Last Airbender is based off of a hugely successful cartoon created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko that aired on Nickeloden and attracted an audience well beyond it’s demographic with it’s brilliant story telling and serious subject manner. It’s easily one of the greatest cartoons of all time. Avatar: The Last Airbender isn’t a love story, though there is romance. It’s a story about young kids with powers who have to fight a world wide war to save the world from a truly evil man and his army. The premise sounds more epic than a random small town girl deciding whether or not she wants to give up her non-interesting life to turn into a good vampire. The show is still very fresh in the fans minds and they were desperate for more stories. So who will win the tween vote?

The Last Airbender has been surrounded with some controversy. Two main characters, Sokka and Katara, are brown skinned in the television series but are being cast by two Caucasians, one of them who plays Jasper Hale in the Twilight series. Another controversy comes from the villain and eventual good guy, Zuko, who is a fair skinned character yet is cast by a boy of Indian descent, Dev Patel, who is best known for Academy Award-winning film Slumdog Millionaire. While no one is questioning their acting ability, fans of many different nationalities are angered by the race changes and even coined the term “race bending.”

But even with that going against the film, the previews themselves are compelling the fans to give it a shot. Besides the obvious nationality changes, the film mirrors the source material in a lot of ways and the special effects are down right cool.

With Last Airbender coming out in 3D, it also has a chance to outdo Eclipse in sales due to 3D prices being a bit higher, which is how Cameron’s Avatar made it’s groundbreaking amount at the box office.

Eclipse may have two successful films backing it, but The Last Airbender appears to be a film that moms and highly testosterone filled dads will take their kids to see. Besides, with Twilight films subject matter becoming increasingly more adult, such as the eventual impregnation of Bella in Breaking Dawn, the eight year old girls might have to start sitting out of the shows.

So who is going to win the epic battle for biggest movie of the summer? We’ll see this weekend. Twilight Saga: Eclipse premiers June 30th and The Last Airbender premiers July 1st.

Lost "Across the Sea"

Lost...

What is there to say about “Lost”? Well, I’m a little “lost.”

I’m on the fence on whether or not I liked last night’s episode of Lost, because I wanted so many more answers that I never really got. One thing we found out from “Across the Sea” is that the “Adam and Eve” in the cave was the MIB and his crazy adoptive mother and Jacob put them there.

It’s cool to know, but I had an awesome theory that maybe it was Rose and Bernard, since they were all time traveling and what not, but that was a theory from like two seasons ago, so I can accept that I was wrong, mostly because there was no way to ever guess their true identities.

The episode opened up with a line that said “Every question will lead to another question.” It was like the writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse just wanted to mess with our minds and put it in there as a reassurance that we’re not going to be satisfied. But to be fair, even if they answered every single question, people would still be upset and they wouldn’t accept it all. I heard a lot of people angry about the “Whispers” in the jungle really being dead people. Not everyone is going to be happy. I think maybe that’s an impossible task for Damon and Carlton since the fans have such high expectations.

But I’m on the fence about the episode because I didn’t feel like a lot happened, at least not enough to progress the story line. We got a back story episode about the most mysterious people on the island and we’re still probably going to get way more information from the present. We can only hope that we do! We don’t have a choice.

But now we know that there’s a light on the island that’s perhaps the good of humanity and that’s what Jacob had to protect and now one of the candidates (which I hope is Jack) has to do it instead.

But is smokie now the light transformed into darkness and there is no more light? Is it possible for smokie to be light again? John told Jack that when he had a face off with smokie that he saw a beautiful light. Now we know he was born of the light? Perhaps fake Locke can’t leave the island because the source can’t leave the island because it would go out and then all the light would go out.

But if this is true, then how is the sideways universe functioning?

Why did Ben Linus think that smokie was a judge? How does his relationship with people on the island evolve? It’s clear that he does judge people, like Mr. Eko. It appears that he kills who he doesn’t need and who he knows is no longer a candidate. Smokie is a lot of things to a lot of different people and I didn’t get the feeling that he was THE bad guy until this season. What was his relationship like?

And how much of smokie is really MIB? Certainly his ambition about getting off the island is included and smokie can’t kill Jacob or his candidates, so there’s still a connection. Evil Locke also told Kate that his mother was crazy, which was true for original Locke and MIB. But smokie seems to take characteristics from those he takes period since he yelled John’s famous “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!”

Something I found misleading though was the fact that MIB/Jacob’s brother (before smokie was born) didn’t seem all that bad. His mother was a psycho and Jacob could get nuts when he got angry and saw that his brother wanted to leave. I already suspected that Jacob was a little nuts after he beat Richard so well on their first encounter. So in the previous episode, Carlton and Damon admitted to killing Sun and Jin to prove that fake Locke was surely evil. Now we have this episode that suggests that he was severely misunderstood. I can still accept that fake Locke is evil, but I’m not sure about this whole Jacob business.

Jacob is interesting because he observes people from a distance and doesn’t really know them. He’s seems afraid to interact with them. That’s probably why he never got involved with the people on the island before Richard and that he wanted Richard to delegate for him. But since he doesn’t know people face to face, he thinks they’re good. His twin brother, MIB, lived with people and know that they’re corrupt and evil. So if Jacob really got to know humanity, would he feel so strongly about protecting them or is he simply honor bound by his mother?

I strongly feel that Jack has to be the new Jacob, because I don’t know who else is nuts enough to ruin people’s lives and pester them to get them to the island. Certainly Locke could have, but he’s dead.

I’m not sure if I enjoyed this episode. Well...I didn’t really enjoy it. I’m not sure if it’s good or not, because for the first time I feel really confused because of all the loopholes and the situation involving smokie and MIB that I kind of want to stop speculation and just wait until they tell me what I need to know.

Smallville "Escape"

Let me start off by saying that I find it a little strange that Smallville took so many weeks off and then decided to premier a new episode during Good Friday. It’s a good thing I saw a commercial, because I would have waited until next week to turn on the television.

But anyway, Clark and Lois go on a getaway vacation and it turns out Oliver and Chloe are there. As predicted, Chloe and Oliver are really just booty call type folk and don’t care to be anything more. The romance is ultimately ruined by the awkwardness and also The Silver Banshee.

Now I had seen some images of The Silver Banchee and it just wasn’t very good. Smallville haters really took the opportunity to bash it and I couldn’t blame them. It seemed like they took a very...dead animal approach to it. However, it looked really nice in the dark and instead of looking like dead animals, it was black and white, as it should be. The history was of course appropriated for Smallville, but it wasn’t bad. I thought their interpretation was actually well done...for them anyway.

One of my favorite parts of the episode was when Chloe questioned Clark about his super sex and he looked embarrassed and stated that he was in control of “everything.” It was a funny episode, not hilarious. It was more for chicks I would say.

I do have to point out that I’m really getting sick of Chloe’s dialogue. Her metaphors are driving me nuts! I’d like to get through one episode without her using three.

On with some more important plot advancements, Zod is enjoying his powers and finally got it on with Tess. She figured out that he had powers and used Kryptonite on him. He didn’t know what it was and she won’t tell him. So at the end of the episode, he calls Lois pretending to be “The Blur” right in front of Clark and asks her to find out some information about Tess. She swears not to tell anyone. I think it’s pretty funny.

It was a solid filler. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was enjoyable. If someone was waiting to see something epic to be satisfied from the long break...then I don't know what show you're watching. Though Smallville can have great moments, I've never really been immensely satisfied with epicness.

Lost "Ab Aeterno"

Finally, some answers!

This episode mainly deals with Richard Alpert and by mainly, I mean there aren’t really any flashbacks fading in and out of the present. It’s mostly a flashback of Richard’s life. I’ve got to say it was another great episode.

The show opens up with Ilana explaining that she came to the island to protect the candidates and that the candidates are people who are supposed to replace Jacob. Her instructions after she took the candidates to the temple were to ask Richard what to do next, but he goes off on a crazed frenzy. He says he’s known a secret that no one else knows about the island and it’s not what it seems and I hold my breath. But then he continues his crazed frenzy and thinks he’s in Hell and storms off stating that he thinks he might follow someone else.

Jack sees Hurley talking to no one in Spanish and assumes it’s Jacob. Hurley says it’s not and storms off.

The flash back starts in 1867 on Tenerife on the Canary Islands. Richards wife Isabella is ill so he rides into town to get medicine taking all of the money he has and his wife’s gold cross. The doctor refuses to ride in the rain to help her and he won’t sell the medicine for such a cheap price. Richard panics and pushes the doctor and he hits his head on a table and dies. Richard leaves panicked with the medicine and returns to his wife, but she has already passed. He cries over her body as men come to take him away.

In prison, a priest visits him and Richard has a confession. However, the priest will not forgive him for his sin, because the priest says he can’t absolve him of his sins for murder. If the Dharma Initiative was instated at the time or if Jacob was recruiting Others, I would have sworn that the priest was behind something sinister, because it was such a shock and he did look creepy and not really sympathetic. He said Richard needed to do penance but he didn’t have time because he was going to be hanged. I’m not sure what was the point in the confession, but the priest didn’t seem concerned. It was like “Want to be forgiven? That’s too bad. Have a nice time burning in Hell, you murderer!”

Instead of being hung, a British Captain buys Richard because he can speak English and plans on taking him to the New World. During the ride a storm breaks out and they are drawn to the island. The Black Rock smashes into the Statue of Taweret, which answers what happened to it and then the ship crashes in the middle of the jungle.

The Captain is sure the slaves will rise up and kill them and the supplies are limited anyway, so he starts killing all of the slaves. Richard is the last one, but the killing spree is interrupted by the one who does it best: Smokie! The smoke monster begins killing the crew and the Captain looks up while blood is dripping down on him. It was kind of horrifyingly awesome for tv. Then Smokie kills the Captain and does the whole “I’m gonna approach you but leave” thing to Richard.

Richard is stuck trying to escape for the next few days but then he sees his dead wife. She tells him that they’re in Hell and that he has to leave before the devil homes. They hear Smokie and then she runs away. Richard hears her scream and begins to panic, still trapped in chains and unable to help.

Enter Man in Black. He gets Richard out of the chains and gives him water. He admits to being the black smoke and confirms that they are in Hell and that the devil has his wife. He give Richard a knife and tells him to go kill the devil living in the statue. Richard agrees since it’s the only way to save his wife. It mimics how fake Locke convinced Ben and how Dogen convinced Sayid.

He goes to kill Jacob, but Jacob kicks his butt and convinces Richard that he’s not in Hell by sort of drowning him. I thought Jacob was a lot more passive than what he appeared to be in this episode, so I was a bit shocked. He tells Richard that he brings people to the island to prove to the Man in Black that people are good while the Man in Black believes that they are corrupted. All of the people Jacob brought has died. Some people think that Jacob might not be as good as what people believe but it would seem that his has a disconnection with humanity. All of these people’s lives are like games to MIB and Jacob. Richard wants to know why Jacob doesn’t interfere and Jacob says that he believes that there’s no point in the argument if he has to tell people to choose good. Richard says “If you don’t then he will.”

Jacob then asks if Richard would like a job to interfere on his behalf. In return, Richard asks for his wife back and Jacob says that he can’t do this. I thought this was very important because we keep seeing dead people appear on the island but whose to say who is dead or what? No one has really ever come back for the dead so resurrection seems to be out of the question, though the Man in Black is promising it to Sayid. Is Man in Black lying or does he posses a power that Jacob does not or does Jacob think it’s wrong to resurrect people? Richard also asks to be absolved from his sins, but Jacob says he can’t do that either so if anyone has any theories that Jacob is God, then I think that proves them wrong, but he does seem to have a separation from humanity. Then Richard asks to live forever so he can never go to Hell and Jacob agrees to doing that.

Richard’s first task is to give the Man in Black a white rock. MIB explains that he knows Jacob can be persuasive and says that if Richard EVER changes his mind, he’ll have him.

MIB and Jacob talk. MIB just wants his body back and he wants to leave the island. Jacob can’t do that because apparently, MIB is evil incarnate. MIB says he has no choice but to kill Jacob and Jacob says that if he manages to kill him, he’ll just have a replacement. So the candidates are NOT protecting the island. The island is protecting everyone else from MIB. This makes a lot more sense. But since there is no island in the sideways universe, I’m curious to know the consequences.

Flashbacks end and Richard goes to a spot where he had buried his wife’s cross. He cries and calls out to MIB. Hurley then emerges and says that he was talking with Isabella. After Richard and Isabella have a conversation via Hurley about how her death wasn’t his fault, Richard feels better. Hurley also tells Richard that Isabella said that they have to stop MIB from leaving the island or “they all go to Hell.”

In the distance, MIB is watching.

This was a very great episode. I was troubled by how Richard snapped, but I suppose he has been around for a long time and there's no telling everything he went through. His story with his wife was very sad and it was touching when he got to speak with her again. This episode was probably the second best of the season, but I'm looking forward to some more great ones before it's all over.

Lost "Recon"

I’m sorry to admit this, but Lost was sort of a disappointment. It’s weird saying that since I adore watching Sawyer and he’s had some very interesting storylines, but I feel that this episode pales in comparison to the emotion and plot progress that the last episode possessed.

There was a surprise in Sawyer’s sideways universe, but it was the most shocking thing of the entire night. Sawyer was playing his favorite con, in bed with a wife of a rich husband and he gets up and takes his suitcase and all his money falls out. The woman is supposed to see it and decide to become part of the investment scheme he has going on and Sawyer takes her money and leaves. Well, his girl (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe who played Gretchen on Prison Break), totally saw right through it since her husband is a con artist. Sawyer tells her that he’s really undercover and if she doesn’t cooperate, she’s going to jail. She doesn’t take him serious and I assume it’s another good lie from Sawyer trying to get out of being shot, but as it turns out, his backup comes piling through the door and arrests Gretchen.

Sawyer is a cop, so he doesn’t go by “Sawyer.” He goes by James Ford. I know I had a pretty stupid expression on my face, and I’m not sure what it meant or what I was really thinking at the time. I was just surprised. Sawyer is a rugged, bad boy. It’s all part of his charm. But the most important thing to consider is that Sawyer is presumably changed for the better without interference from Jacob and the island. Is Jacob really not on the side of good? That’s a question that a lot of people are beginning to wonder. I would personally feel a little betrayed if that were the case, so I’m theorizing that he’s good. I believe that there will be a very good reason as to why the cast had to live such miserable lives to get to the island and I assume it has something to do with the smoke monster. I hope Jacob is in the end justified, but it doesn’t look too good on his part.

Anyway, Miles is James’ partner and James is keeping him and everyone in the dark about his past. His father still killed his mother and himself and James is tracking down Anthony Cooper who is actually the only person called “Sawyer” and plans on killing him once he finds him.

James goes on a blind date set up by Miles with Charlotte. They hit it off and go back to his place but when she finds his secret files on “Sawyer”, he freaks out and kicks her out. He tries to reconcile later, but she tells him that he “blew it.” He also gets into a huge fight with Miles because Miles finds out that James was in Sidney and not on vacation.

James really contemplates the entire episode about how he is pushing people away by living in the past and holding onto revenge, so he tells Miles about what happened and what he plans to do. There’s not really a conversation stating that James will stop his hunt so I wouldn’t say that there was real growth like in the last episode with Ben Linus.

However, James did catch Kate at the end. That was an interesting twist, but leaves me to wonder why James seemed to aid Kate at the airport when he was always a law abiding citizen.

On the island, the smoke monster/fake Locke sends Sawyer to Hydra island for a recon mission. Locke wants to know if there are any passengers from the plane left and their intentions so he can use the airplane and fly home. Sawyer does as told and discovers that all the left over passengers are dead and there is only one survivor. Sawyer eventually finds out that she’s lying and discovers that she’s one of Widmore’s people. They are armed with guns and sonar weapons like The Others/Dharma had to keep him out the smoke monster. Sawyer is taken to Widmore and promises to take fake Locke to him so he can kill him and so he can escape on the sub with his people. Widmore agrees. But, something to wonder about is how the passengers died. Widmore claims that he did not kill them. It very well could have been the smoke monster, but Sawyer doesn’t believe Widmore, though he seems suspicious of fake Locke since he knows about the people at the temple being murdered because of the smoke monster.

Back at camp, Claire finally snaps and attacks Kate. While Claire is holding a knife to Kate’s neck, Sayid is watching. Locke comes to save Kate and then she leaves to cry and wonder why the world has turned so wonky. I personally would have ran out of there. She knows that Locke is really dead. I don’t know if she has enough sense to realize that Locke isn’t really a resurrected Locke and something is off. Claire is also crazy and Sayid is obviously off his rocker as well. Locke explains to her that he told Claire that The Others had her baby so she could hate someone because it’s a very powerful survival skill and all that hate was transferred to Kate. Locke also stated that he had a crazy mother and he had issues because of it and expresses concern because Aaron’s mother is now also crazy. It’s interesting because the real Locke’s mother was off, but it seems like fake Locke is talking about himself. He did used to be a man. Since he mentioned it himself, I would hope that his past is further explored. Claire does apologize and hug Kate and cries, but I would still get out of there if I was Kate.

When Sawyer returns, he tells fake Locke about his deal with Widmore and Locke sees it as loyalty. Kate confronts Sawyer when they’re alone and he states that his loyalty doesn’t belong with anyone and he intends on letting them fight it out and escaping on the sub.

What was interesting was that Widmore and fake Locke knew of each other’s presence. I’m curious as to how and I’m curious if they’ll actually end up being enemies or allies. After all, Widmore and Ben are true enemies and Ben rejected Locke’s offer to join him. The enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of thing may come into play, unless it ends up being an every man for himself scenario.

This episode wasn’t bad or anything, but I’m not sure if I would watch it back just because. With great episodes like “The Long Con” under Sawyer’s belt, I just thought there might be something more with this one.

It would also seem like Sawyer is catching on that Locke might be the smoke monster, but Kate seems to be missing some bananas out of the bunch, because there was more than enough red flags to send me running into the jungle after Jack.

Another food for that, it’s not a prediction, but it would seem that Jack is becoming a man of faith who believes in the island and a mission that it might hold while Sawyer is willing to do whatever he can to get off, which seems to be the relationship of Jacob and the smoke monster.

Also, it’s possible that the island might be the smoke monster’s prison. If that thing were out in the real world, what kind of chaos would ensue?

Can’t wait until Richard’s past is revealed next week. I’m ready for some answers!

Lost "Dr. Linus"

I’ve been waiting for this episode ever since I found out that Ben was in the sideways timeline, well and alive. Lost did not disappoint with this episode. It was without a doubt, the best episode of the season and contained one of the best emotional pieces of the entire series.

I’m not going to try and recap the complete episode, just go over some of the most important things. The episode was centered on Benjamin Linus. He’s traveling with Sun, Frank, Ilana, and Miles. Ilana was always weary about Jacob’s death so she gives his remains to Miles and he confirms that Ben, not Smokie, killed Jacob.

All seems to be going awkwardly well as they walk back to the beach. Then Illana ties up Ben, points a gun to him, and orders him to dig his own grave. Ben is trying to get out of it by talking to Miles and offering him the millions he asked for years ago. Miles threw in that Pablo and Nikki had diamonds buried with them, so he didn’t need Ben’s money. Then when all hope seems lost, fake Locke comes and offers Ben a chance to escape. He releases his chains, tells Ben where he can find a gun, and offers Ben the opportunity to join him. His reward will be to once again become the leader of the island once fake Locke gets what he wants.

Ben runs for it and I am seriously on the edge of my seat once he starts running through the jungle with Ilana right on his tail with a riffle in her hand. Ben is really my favorite character. If he is to die, I at least want him to survive to the very end. This episode is very nerve wracking for me. Luckily, Ben gets to his gun first and then you ask yourself is Ben going to do the right thing or is he going to save his own skin again.

Instead of killing Ilana, he explains that he knows what Ilana is feeling after losing Jacob, because he lost Alex. He acknowledges that it was his fault and how he was angry because he chose the island over Alex and Jacob didn’t seem to care about any of Ben’s sacrifices. It was truly one of the most heart felt dialogues of the show and something you might not have expected to hear Ben Linus say. If you haven’t seen the episode, you truly need to watch his performance. Top notch.

After apologizing to Ilana, he says that he plans on joining Locke. Ilana then asks why and his answer is one of the saddest, most pathetic in a “I want to feel bad for you” kind of way, things I’ve ever heard. His answer was “Because he’s the only that’ll have me.”

Ilana says, “I’ll have you.” And they both turn around and go back to the beach. Even though they had this emotional moment, I’m constantly watching the clock and waiting for her to snap and shoot Ben in the back of the head or something, but she doesn’t. Thank goodness!

In the sideways timeline, Ben is a history teacher who cares about the students, but the principal is on a power trip. Ben is encouraged by Locke to become the principal and he tries dirty politics to get in. At the last minute, Ben sacrifices his flawless plan to become principal for a student’s well being, who is Alex Rousseau. It was a pleasant twist.

Ben has done some terrible things in his past in the name of his power, but after Alex died, he realized that power wasn’t the most important thing. It seems that this revelation has somehow connected in the sideways time line, because he didn’t sacrifice Alex for his power. I’m curious of the relationship of the sideways time line and how it really will coincide and if the two worlds will ever collide or become aware of one another.

Ben wasn’t the only character who had a breakthrough. Jack is starting to become a man of faith. Richard lost his way and thought his life had no purpose because Jacob died and so he wanted to die. We’re all well aware that he can’t age, but we found out that he also cannot kill himself. He returns to the Black Rock and the popular suspicion that Richard came from the ship is confirmed. Questions are being answered!

Richard asks Jack to light a fuse on a stick of dynamite and Jack obliges the request, but sits and waits for the stick to blow up. Now this is pretty gutsy of Jack and of course we know Jack isn’t going to blow up. Jack’s reasoning is that Jacob wouldn’t want him to go through all he’s been through just to blow up. Our reasoning is that Jack has to have a showdown with evil Locke and or bitter Sawyer. Yet knowing all this, I’m still sitting on edge. I mean, if Jack blows up, a lot of people would feel cheated, but it would be completely unexpected. Jack ends up being right and the fuse burns out right before it reaches the stick.

Jack, Richard, and Hurley return to the beach and meet up with Ben and everyone else.

The big shocker though, the moment that made me scream, was when I saw a submarine in the water. I thought for sure that something was going to come up and snipe Ben. My heart was pounding. After all that emotion and anticipation, it would be terrible if he got popped the last minute of the show. Instead, there is an even bigger twist that I think no one saw coming.

Charles Widmore is back and he’s found the island!

So far, I can’t say that any episodes of Lost this season made me feel shocked or left me with that intense anticipation for the next episode until this episode aired tonight. It was bloody fantastic. Emotional, suspenseful, some questions were answered, faith reassured, and plots started coming together. This was the first time I screamed in shock the entire season and that’s why I watch Lost. I like that there’s a show brilliant enough to emotionally involve me.

I can’t wait until next week. Nine episodes left.

Lost "Sundown"

I am really pumped about Lost this season. I really–in fact–desperately would like to be satisfied with all of the mysteries and the questions and so on. When I saw that the title of this episode was “Sundown” I assumed it was going to be about Sun. I found out some days prior that the main focus was Sayid. I wasn’t too excited about that. Sayid has had such a depressing life that I thought they should have let him die after he got shot last season. Why bother trying to save him? He worked most of his adult life to get back to a woman who he finally married and she was run over by a car and died in his arms.

Sayid’s sideways story was interesting though. I caught on as soon as he was dropped off by his taxi that Nadia was going to be with a different man. I just didn’t know that it would be his brother. They clearly still love each other, but he thinks he doesn’t deserve Nadia and that’s why they didn’t get together in the sideways universe. Sayid’s brother made some bad business deals and got himself in a lot of trouble with none other than Martin Keamy, the man who infamously killed Benjamin Linus’s daughter, Alex. Sayid’s brother got hurt, Sayid was taken, and then Sayid killed everyone there, except for none English speaking Jin, who is tied up in a back room.

On the island, Sayid has a showdown with Dogen. Some people think it’s too late to introduce Dogen and get attached to him, but I like him. It was also cool to see him fight Sayid in hand to hand combat and I enjoyed that he came up on top, since Sayid is supposed to be turning evil. Dogen banishes Sayid after sparing his life.

Claire comes to the temple trying to get Dogen to leave to speak with fake Locke, but Dogen refuses and they take Claire away. Dogen then asks Sayid to kill fake Locke.

Sayid tries, but can’t. Then Smokie tells Sayid that he can give Sayid the one thing that he wants more than anything in the world. I can only assume instead of something noble like redemption, he’s going to do the crazy thing and attempt to resurrect Nadia.

Kate returns and talks to Claire. She can’t tell that Claire needs to be sent to the loony bin, even though she’s alone and singing lullabies in a very creepy fashion. Claire tells Kate that she thinks that The Other’s have Aaron and Kate tells her the truth. Kate doesn’t notice how epically pissed Claire looks and continue chatting about how lovely and wonder Aaron was and how she had been raising him. Of course she claims that she wants to reunite the two of them, but I have a suspicion that Claire is going to kill Kate as soon as she has the chance.

Sayid returns to the temple and informs everyone that they have until sundown to leave. Whoever stays will die. A lot of people leave. Sayid goes back to Dogen and they have a moment. Dogen explains that he came to the island to save the life of us son and assumes that Sayid was offered a deal just as good. Sayid then drowns Dogen.

Dogen’s minion, Lennon, panics and says that Dogen was the one who was keeping the monster out. Sayid turns full out psycho, admits that he knows that, and kills Lennon as well. Smokie starts on a killing spree.

Miles and Kate begin running but get separated when Kate goes after Claire. Miles runs into Alana, Sun, Lapidus, and Ben. Ben runs off to go find Sayid and at this point, I start yelling. They already killed my cool, samurai guy and I am in great fear that they will kill my favorite character. I just know that Sayid hates Ben and will snap his neck. But when Ben sees Sayid, it’s clear that Sayid is evil and off his rocker and Ben looks at him horrified and runs away.

Alana finally saves some people and opens up a secret passage way to get her, Lapidus, Miles, and Sun out. I don’t know where they’re going, but it’s pretty bogus that they took all that time getting to the temple to be safe and as soon as they get there, Smokie strikes. It’s like the only point of going to the temple was to save Miles, but that hardly redeems her after letting Jacob get whacked. I don’t dislike Alana, but I hope she does something epically amazing. It’s bad enough that she came to the island especially to protect Jacob and then he was killed.

Kate gets to Claire and barely misses Smokie during his pursuit of destruction. After it’s all over, Kate, Claire, and Sayid are looking at all the bodies of dead people. I’m extremely disturbed that Kate is just continuing to follow them without saying anything since she just saw a non dead John Locke leading the people, but whatever. Kate does what she feels like anyway. I guess she feels like being demented and confused.

I was expecting Claire to say “kill Kate” to Locke or go ballistic right then and there, but I’m sure she’ll have her battle with Kate eventually.

As far as the questions answered, I can’t say that there were any of the original questions from seasons prior answered. Questions about Dogen’s origins were answered and why the temple was safe was answered. However, we don’t know why Dogen had that ability to keep Smokie out of the temple in the first place.

A new question is what exactly does Claire want the fake Locke to do for her? Everyone has a price. She may be nuts, but she clearly stated that there was a promise that he made to her.

I predict that Claire and Kate will have their blowout, but I’m thinking Jack will be around for it. The woman that he’s been obsessed about and his sister in a death match over three years of his nephews life.

I’m kind of worried for team “good” though. I mean, it seems like it’s going to be Sayid, Sawyer, Claire, and Smokie vs Jack and Hugo. The odds are not good.

"Chollie" is the new "Clana"

“Chollie” is the new “Clana”

Now I know that there are and were A LOT of Clanas out there in the world, but for The Gorgeous Geeks, it’s a dirty word. However, it was not always that way. When Smallville first began and for the first couple of seasons, we were desperate for Clark to get with Lana. From the first time Clark tripped all over himself when he got near her glowing, green necklace, we were sold. I think we started on a downhill spiral once Lana told Clark “I think I should stay away from you” after she agreed to take in paranoid Lex, gave him something to drink that would “calm him,” startled her own horse, and got her leg broken. Then she was with the really dead boyfriend Adam, and then there was the whole witch thing, Jason, Lex, lies, blah, blah, and blah. So we dropped off the loony wagon.

But the thing about Clana is that it was destined to fail. When Lois was introduced to Smallville, she was the beacon on which people familiarized themselves with. Lois and Clark. It’s literally legendary. Lois is the only woman that Superman will literally move Heaven, earth, and the multiverse in order to be with. There were Clana fans who said “Screw the mythology!” But I think they were remembering who Lana used to be in the first few seasons and couldn’t see who she had turned into: a secretive, lying, Clark obsessed, whore. It’s really no different than the comic books.

Now we have this “Chollie” thing. When I first noticed it, I was...well, I was disgusted. But then I started thinking about it from the perspective of a Chloe fan, or what you Chloe fans should think about. Chloe had a fake Jimmy that died before her eyes. She’s been possessed by aliens, witches, parasites, has family history of mental illness, faked a death, and had a demented relationship with Doomsday. She’s had a ridiculous alien intellect and then had to be regular again, which must have felt like “Flowers from Algernon” (though Smallville didn’t really deal with that). Lois took the life she wanted with ease. All of Chloe’s existence revolved around Clark. At first she was in love with him and now she wants to protect him (though that has sometimes been an excuse to act however she wants sometimes). She’s had a cool life, but it’s been very complicated.

My thinking about this Oliver relationship is why? Why bother going through the motions and giving her something that isn’t going to last? Why not give her something meaningful that she can cherish?

I wrote that on a video for a Chloe video and I had nine negatives on the video within a few hours. People were angry, saying that “Smallville is AU” and “screw the mythology” and “Chloe and Oliver are going to be together forever!”

Wake up people! The truth is that this is a fling. Smallville is an AU, but just like Clana fans wished and hoped for something meaningful and long lasting, Chollies will also be disappointed eventually. Oliver ends up with Dinah. They are married and they are great together. Dinah is a character on Smallville. They’ve already dropped hints. They are going to be a couple, even if Smallville doesn’t have enough time to iron out their details.

But since their relationship is already going, we can see that it’s not very sweet or romantic. Oliver is probably still very much in love with Lois and Chloe’s relationship with Jimmy ended for more reasons than Davis stabbing a metal pipe through his chest. They both are lonely. They both have more important things to do than romance so they are secretive and sexual. I’m not surprised. Oliver is a man whore. I’m a little surprised on Chloe’s part, but she’s been shutting herself off to meaningful human ties as she watches the world through computers.

Now, here’s the real reason why I had to compare “Chollie” to “Clana.” In “Conspiracy,” Oliver found out that Chloe had been stealing money from him and making kryptonite weapons, all in the name of the greater good. Chloe’s unrepentant for it and is bothered when Oliver moves weapons that Chloe didn’t technically own since it’s his money, without her knowledge. Lana kept plenty of secrets. When she married Lex, it didn’t take her long to prove that she deserved the name “Luthor.” Clark basically took it all the time because he’s an idiot and was bound to love her, even if she turned into a dinosaur and bit his head off. That’s how blind he was with that girl. Oliver is not Clark and called Chloe out, but I don’t like that Chloe is acting like Lana. Chloe once warned Lana about her behavior and stated that she would be there to protect Clark from her crazy, secretive, obsessive ways. Who is going to call out Chloe correctly for her questionable behavior?

If she keeps up her behavior, she’s not going to have a man or best friend. She’s not as cute as Lana, and Ollie’s probably still thinking about Lois when he bangs her. He’ll just find another girl to get busy with and her relationship with Clark is already rocky.

O.M.G. Chloe might be forced to get her own life. Whatever will she do?

P.S. I’m not technically anti-Chloe. I’m anti-obsess-over-Clark.

Smallville "Conspiracy"

Okay. Let me start off by saying that I have been enjoying season nine of Smallville and I am hoping for a season ten to close out Smallville with a classy exit. However, “Conspiracy” was a bit below par, and mostly because of stupid mistakes.

Basically, the gist of the story is that a crazy man has abducted three Kandorians because he himself was experimented on by them. He’s grizzly, but I easily understand his frustration. (Of course they’ve done crazy kidnapper at least a hundred times already, but hey! It’s Smallville!) Clark and Zod are working separately to try and save the Kandorians before it’s too late.

Now there was something that I think everyone should realize: Clark should just wait around with Lois. Why? Because the story always runs into Lois. She either stumbles into it or she herself is forced into it. In this particular episode, she was kidnaped so she would be forced to write the story about how the earth was invaded by aliens. She did some butt kicking, but was taken out by the bad guy by of course, a blow to the head. She was knocked unconscious so Clark can keep his identity a secret while he saves everyone without a convincing disguise.

Zod is pretty smart with his investigation. He goes through the Daily Planet, because of course a desperate, crazy alien spouter would have tried to contact the newspaper before stealing a news reporter. Zod finds letters in the crazy pile and finds the hideout. He helps Lois and then is shot.

Clark takes the long route while playing reporter. He learns some facts about Zod and sees him as a nicer person. Clark is a sap in the comic books, so it doesn’t bother me when he does stupid things like trusting everyone who smiles at him friendly.

When he finally figures everything out, he pushes the alien kidnapper hard in a way that probably should have injured him. It was considerably harder than what knocked out Lois, but whatever. The bad guy gets up, holds his chain saw in the air, and gets electrocuted. That was lame. That was very, very lame. Him being knocked out after the super push would have been sufficient. It is every other episode.

Clark doesn’t want Zod to die, but he surprisingly does. But, Clark doesn’t want it to end like that so he finds the random kryptonite infected placed material in the room and cuts his hand. He drops some of his blood on Zod and it heals him. Clark’s blood is so fantastic that it wipes away all of the blood that was on Zod. There was a glow and sparkle and then Zod was clean and healed. The random, unplanned act has worked. Hizzah!

Zod ends up telling Clark that they’ll work together and Zod pretends to still be hurt. But as the sun rises while he’s alone on the roof of the Daily Planet, he soaks it all in and flies away.

The moral of the episode is this: Clark is an idiot. But we didn’t learn anything new. Now did we?

The director of this episodes wanted to play with the slow motion button a little too much. Maybe once or twice, but three of four times is overkill, especially when it’s not for anything cool like super powers.

Clark and Lois didn’t experience much romance in this episode. They did both acknowledge that they both have professional secrets that they have to keep from each other. That was that. There was no fuss. They were very mature about it. It was much more evolved than “I need you to trust me, Clark!” Lana issues.

Chloe and Oliver had some screen time together. Apparently, they’re sexual partners, not very romantic. It’s hard to be romantic with Chloe stealing Oliver’s money. At least it’s for something cool, like kryptonite weapons, in case the Kandorians get their powers...or in case the Kandorians decide to use it against Clark. I’m sure one of the two will happen.

Oliver ends up taking the weapons and putting them in a safe place. He keeps the location to himself, which Chloe doesn’t like. Chloe is becoming the new keeper of secrets and expects others to spill their guts to her. It’s very Lanaish and I don’t like it. Not one bit. (Don’t get mad at me, Lana fans. She did it all the time!) At least Oliver called her out on her hypocrisy. It feels good when the character in the television screen listens to what you have to say.

At least Oliver thinks they should tell Clark the truth about the weapons...when it’s the right time...whenever that might be.

Some positives of this episode was Zod’s acknowledgment of Lois. He understands why Clark likes her so much, and I’m assuming Zod will have more face time with her. I also like how Smallville is including Amanda Waller. She’s very sneaky, very clever, and has a bit of a twisted idea on how to save the world. I think Smallville is hinting at doing great things with her character. I hope they don’t mess it up.

I would say that this is a solid episode (on the Smallville meter anyway), but it’s one of my least favorite of the season so far. I expect Clark to do dumb things, but the villain’s death was lame, the glowy blood was cheesy, and I don’t like what the writers are doing with Chloe.

And for the record, I think Clark was doing the right thing with trying to assimilate the Kandorians into society to live like humans. It was driving a wedge between Zod and his people and they were seeing Clark has their hero. It was just dumb and random to bleed on Zod. I can even understand Clark wanting to save Zod, as his father asked him to, but when I see people hurt, my first reaction isn’t to bleed on them. Clark’s blood by itself doesn’t heal. He didn’t know it would. I’m not sure why it even crossed his mind to do that.

Oh well. Here’s to an interesting follow up episode!

Heroes Volume 5: Redemption

Let me start off by saying that I have no love in my heart for Heroes. I thought it was good starting out, but started spiraling out of relevance very quickly.

I think the problem with “Redemption” is that it occurred right after a very, terrible season finale. We finally get a Peter vs Sylar fight, with Nathan thrown in there as well, and they close the door on us. The only reasonable explanation to do something so horrific to a viewing audience is budget cuts and even though it’s reasonable, it certainly isn’t acceptable.

But the absolute worst thing about the season finale was the fact that Sylar kills Nathan. It’s not because I was sad to see him go. Nathan has been a backstabbing, manipulative, easy to manipulate, jerk since the very first season. I was glad to see him go. How can you not expect hunting down people with powers when you yourself has powers is going to end well? Anyway, the terribly written part about it is that we all know that Claire has the power to heal people with her blood. I don’t understand why it didn’t cross Angela’s and Bennet’s mind when Bennet was actually brought back from the dead! So they instead change Sylar into Nathan via Matt Parkman in order to keep the world from thinking that a super powered freak killed an important super powered freak (I guess they’re not into sane cover ups like airplane crashes anymore...even though they eventually did that).

So when Redemption opens up, I’m still upset. Every story with fake Nathan that may have been interesting is really stupid because I can’t get the fact out of my head that he shouldn’t be dead in the first place. And it’s not like the writers are trying to forget that Claire’s blood can heal, because Claire mentions it herself when she finds out the Hiro is sick. I do find some of fake Nathan’s stories interesting, but it’s evolved from something beyond stupid. It truly was an unforgivable mistake. Epic fail.

Hiro is dying from a tumor and all of his fans are on edge concerning Hiro’s life. I don’t know why. It’s not like they were ever going to kill him. They don’t have the guts to kill important cast members that people like. (Consider Nikki. She’s part of a triplet set. So if Tracy dies, we have a backup.) Hiro tries to correct mistakes in his life by changing things that he messed up. He hooks up Ando and his sister then he goes in the past and saves Charlie’s life. It’s interesting that Hiro ends up needing Sylar’s help to save her after he saves her from Sylar. But the most sappiest thing in the world happens in the past. Hiro tells Sylar that he’s going to die alone and then a fear is born inside of Sylar. It neuters him...badly.

Charlie ends up getting kidnaped and lost through time via bad guy, so Hiro can’t be with her anyway, but at least she lived a long and happy life...with someone else.

How does Hiro eventually get healed though? He has a wonky dream while he goes under surgery. He’s under trial for using his powers for selfish reasons. He’s going to die until he pleads guilty and acknowledges that he was being selfish. Then his dead mother heals him. How her powers work beyond the grave is beyond me. It’s very...Disney channel.

The biggest complaint was for the bad guys. There was a carnival of super freaks who were led by a madman named Samuel. I didn’t think it was stupid or anything. I don’t get why so many people disliked it. Samuel’s powers actually grew when other super freaks were around him, which explains his community and why he was trying to recruit. His real story was that he wanted to be loved and when he couldn’t get it, he was going to kill everyone. That’s basic mad villain formula. It works.

What disappointed me was that the epic climax of the season finale ended with “Everyone! Lets leave!” So they leave. Samuel fights Peter with his powers and Peter matches him ridiculously fast. You would think a guy whose been working on his powers for about forty years could easily beat someone who just picked it up. No. Good guys have to win. Right?

Matt Parkman was being driven crazy by Sylar trapped in his head. So after Sylar gets his body back (and Nathan officially dies), Matt decided to burry him in his worst nightmare. While Sylar is comatose, Matt does the most brilliant thing ever and builds a brick wall to trap Sylar in his basement...in his house...where he lives with his wife and baby boy. BRILLIANT!!! I can see why they kept Matt on LOST for more than the pilot episode (which they didn’t).

Peter used to be my favorite character, but I find him to be quite useless now. He can only contain one power at a time now, delaying the inevitable Sylar vs Peter fight. He gets a new love interest, who is a waste of screen time. I’m sorry. I don’t care if the deaf girl can see colors instead of hearing sound. I want to see fights like X-Men vs The Brotherhood. I understand budgets and all that, but Smallville had more action sequences in a two hour movie than Heroes had all season. Peter is pissed off when he finds out his mom has been keeping this major secret about his brother’s death. Of course he’s not pissed off enough to cut off his crazy, shady mother. It’s just mild stuff after all. Then he goes on this revenge kick against Sylar. Then he sees in a dream that the deaf girl, Emma, is going to be in trouble and the only person who can ironically and oh so predictably save her is Sylar. He gets trapped in Sylar’s lonely nightmare and they work out their differences within one episode and Sylar is a good guy now. Yay? I mean, they didn’t do that already...unless they did. Wait...I think they did. Huh...

I think Claire’s story was probably the most annoying out of all of them. She wants to desperately have a normal life. That’s exactly why she jumped out of a window at school. What she really desperately wants is attention. That’s why she didn’t let her dad erase the memory of her creepy, lesbian roommate Gretchen. Claire wants a normal life so bad that she considers joining a freak show circus. That’s why she cuts herself in front of her mom’s idiot boyfriend during Thanksgiving dinner. Claire also has a revelation that she’s like Sylar in a way of building walls and that’s why she won’t hold Gretchen’s hand in the cafeteria. Hmm. Silly me. I just assumed it was because she wasn’t ready to be turned out by a creepy lesbian girl who is obviously obsessed with her. I’m sorry. Claire’s last attraction was a hot boy who she made out with under water. I don’t see how she can go to Gretchen after that.

Sylar and Claire also had some time together. Some magical ink showed Sylar what he needed and it was picture of Claire. Once he had a conversation with her, he concluded that he needed to lose his powers in order to be happy, because Hiro made him sad and now he can’t kill people, which usually makes him happy. Could it be that Sylar maybe just had the hots for Claire? I mean, they’re going to live forever. It would solve his “alone” problem and the only reason why they give Claire so much air time is because she’s pretty. He did even suggest it last season. He also kissed her.

Bennet has a rocky road with his daughter. They almost end up being buried alive together. Almost. You see, Tracy magically found them and created a puddle for them to float to the surface. I might have to watch that again. I’m a little fuzzy on the details about how any of that made sense! Especially since no one knew where they were. Bennet’s new girlfriend was right above them, but they never showed that she even had a clue that they were under ground.

I was so looking forward to Bennet dying. They could have at least let him die dramatically after they teased that someone was going to die. It was Nathan by the way...but they actually killed him LAST SEASON!!!!

So since Claire so desperately wants a normal life, she jumps off a ferris wheel in front of a news camera to reveal the world her powers...because that’s so going to work out perfectly on her quest to live a “normal” life.

In conclusion, I have no hope for this show. It’s probably going to be mediocre until it’s canceled. At least Smallville is getting better.